Today was my first day back home as a stay at home mommy with both of my boys. They are no longer in daycare. I pulled them out. I'm working from home. It's for real. I've been pretty nervous and excited about this. Everyone keeps telling me that I won't ever get this time back, and because of that, I am so grateful I get to be home to watch my boys grow up and play together. But I'm also scared. Scared that I am going to overwhelm myself with the stresses of entertaining and educating my babies while teaching them how to be good people, about making sure I get the right amount of work hours in every day so my paycheck will be enough to justify my staying home, and about keeping my home clean and livable... because let's face it, I'm home all day and someone's gotta do it. I'm also worried about losing all the "me" time I had while working full time. Even driving in the car by myself, or actually having a reason to get dressed up in the morning. And then my subconscious says, "Well Alana, you can still get up at 6 every day and shower, do your hair, makeup and get to work downstairs before the boys wake up." Yes, that's true, but I'm a sucker for sleeping in, especially when I've got two little ones to entertain and run around after all day. Being a stay at home mom is not as easy as it sounds. It requires SO MUCH ENERGY.
With all that said, I REALLY am excited and happy to be staying home with my boys. Asher starts preschool in a few weeks and that will give me some relief to know he is getting educated by REAL professional, not just me, and getting socialization in with other kids his age. And once all the fun activities of preschool and the fall festivities begin, I know I'll be even more excited. Today just wasn't the best day, and didn't start out the way I had planned, so I probably sound a little more freaked than I really am. Drew and I both had the stomach bug this weekend, and on top of that, me and both boys have sinus infections.... so I'm feeling pretty miserable and exhausted and my babies have been extra needy. And it rained.... all day. So we were couped up inside with all of our germs, getting bored by the minute. At least I was afraid the boys were. But in actuality, I think they had fun watching a few movies and playing with eachother. I even tried to do "circle-time" twice with them today. That's what Asher used to do in daycare. His class would have "circle-time" and get together and sing songs and learn the hand motions, or they'd work on their colors and shapes. It went pretty well, but only lasted about 5 minutes each time. I had a hard time keeping Asher's attention and getting him to sit still. Maybe I should take him to a different part of the house next time where he can't even look at his toys, then maybe I can keep his attention.
We did make a neat little craft today, even though I did most of it while the boys were napping. But I want to make a point of doing crafts a couple times a week, maybe even once a day if we have the time. Asher is obsessed with dinosaurs, so I think all of our crafts are going to be dinosaur related for a while!
I also managed to cook dinner while they napped. I made Crispy Scored Flounder with an apricot-mustard spread, Fried Redfish, pasta salad and broccoli. I'm proud to say that both Drew and Asher caught the fish we ate tonight. Pretty neat.
I guess in hindsight, today wasn't that terrible. I actually started watching "Orange is the New Black" on Netflix during their nap(s), and I even got to run a quick errand to Wal-Mart tonight with Ames and bought me some new "lounging around the house" clothes. It was a much needed trip out of the house, even though Ames cried the whole time in the car.
I know each day will get better, and I'll get into the rhythm of things. I know I'll still get to have my "me" time and there will be times when I don't want to do anything but snuggle with my boys on the couch. I guess the first day is always the scariest when you're starting something new, or going back to something you haven't done in a while. Hopefully, being at home will just give me more and more opportunities to make memories that I can share here on the blog.
P.S. In case you didn't notice, I added a name to my blog. It's "On the Coast of Somewhere Beautiful." It's from an old Kenny Chesney song, but I think it perfectly describes where we are in our lives. Everything around me, physically and emotionally, location-wise and heart-wise, is just beautiful.... and I'm so grateful.